Friday, March 3, 2017

Variable Data Printing That Won't Fail

It’s been days since the biggest mix-up in Academy Awards history, yet discourse over the upset/victory abounds online and around mythic watercoolers everywhere. Who should have won: Moonlight (yes) or Lala Land? Should LaLa Land have been allowed to keep that trophy? How could this have happened? Was it really an accident, or a carefully planned stunt? 
The Washington Post of all places has delivered a thorough blow-by-blow, explaining just how the legendary presenters ended up with a duplicate envelope for the Best Actress Award—bestowed upon a singing/dancing die-cut cardboard cutout known as Emma Stone just moments before—instead of the custom stationery for Best Picture. After a confident teleprompter read, Transphobic Father and Academy Winner Warren Beatty opened the envelope and paused. This is where his superior co-presenter, HRH Faye Dunaway, mistook his hesitation for a bit of humor and kept the show going, taking the envelope and announcing the “winner” with an overall sense of droll fearlessness we haven’t seen since Elizabeth Taylor croaked “Glaaaaadiatorrrr” ahead of the other nominees at the 2001 Golden Globes.  
As the LaLa Land creatives took the stage and gushed through their speeches, an official Academy Awards accountant in charge of the envelopes took the stage to correct the error. In a dizzying carousel of gratitude and awe, the talent behind Moonlight took the stage, the trophies, and our hearts. 
Spectacle and pageantry aside, our pressmen and presswomen were quick to clock the debacle as a Variable Data Printing mishap! Variable Data printing is a maximum-efficiency staple of digital printing. Cutting print costs to a wildly low rate, it allows for personal, targeted printing–changing certain textual & design elements again and again in a single print run. In other words: no need for endless sets of copper printing plates, each specifically acid-etched with a different name for every recipient. 
Need last minute Event Invitations? Custom Protest Postcards to send to senators all over the US? Garment Hanging Tags with assorted SKUs and prices? Our NYC Print Shop has you covered for crisp, clean, failure-free Variable Data Printing
Now, to conclude matters, it appears–as explained by the WaPost and Academy Officials–two sets of envelopes are printed with the winners’ names. The order of one of the sets was either shuffled to spectacular disorder, or there was a cataclysmic error in the Variable Data Programing. Whatever the cause, we’ll be hearing about this pleasant debacle as long as the Oscars exist.
To settle the dispute over Moonlight vs LaLa Land: we say F it. The true accolades clearly belong to Faye’s Always-A-List hands, ever reminiscent of the beautifully haggard High-Renaissance Mary Magdalene carved by Donatello. Dime!
Call our NYC Print Shop today and let us know your stance!
(Yay Moonlight!)

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